A doom with a view

Jacobsen

This ad’s pulled from my archives. It’s a classic for the “mid-century modern inspired” Jacobsen condos in East Vancouver. I’m sure you agree the ad has new meaning now that Vancouver condo prices are in the tank. The latest official stats have prices down 12.2 per cent since May. You can bet the whole industry would’ve loved to hit the pause button on those May prices. Too bad that pesky supply-and-demand thing got in the way.

So, what do you suppose Armchair Man is thinking? Maybe in 2007 it was glory of the view from the rooftop. Today, it’s likely the jump from the rooftop.

Be ready for more price declines.

21 Responses to “A doom with a view”

  1. jesse Says:

    The big red chair is covering up the Olympic Village cranes. How apropos.

  2. Larry Yatkowsky Says:

    Pessimistic x-ray vision reveals chains wrapped around the other arm and leg precluding the jump.

  3. blueskies Says:

    did Jacobsen ever sell or get built?

    vapourealty… it’s a con-cept!

  4. ds7777 Says:

    guess where the woman is in this picture…she’s there, but u just cant see her

  5. cookie Says:

    BlueSkies:

    Yes, jacobsen is being built. If you drive east along second (at main) it’s on your right. With a large “sold out” sign hanging from it.

    I saw their pre-sales centre. Another condo where the bedroom had sliding walls to define its space and no closet or even room for a chest of drawers. your closet space is in the hall.

    basically, your bedroom is a window-less space with translucent sliding doors, so if you don’t close your walls at night, you’re sleeping next to your kitchen sink.

    I have this crazy notion that rooms require walls to be defined as a room. Shows you how out-of-touch I am.

  6. 1 Bed & Flex Says:

    Like cookie, I too saw their display suite once upon a condo time. How do you think the buyers will react when they realize that their shoe-box-shaped condos have only one window at the veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery far end of the unit? Intracorp conveniently removed about 20 ft. of wall space in the display suite. Ingenious actually.

  7. Nick Says:

    I see a man sitting on a red chair in the middle of his abandoned condo project. You see, they haven’t even gotten around to putting the walls up yet so he has 453 square feet and it’s all balcony.

  8. islander Says:

    …..I have this crazy notion that rooms require walls to be defined as a room. Shows you how out-of-touch I am……

    Not sure about walls, but any inhabitable room requires a window.

  9. anon Says:

    In case you didn’t know, that’s an Arne Jacobsen “egg” chair, and I’m thinking they got the idea for the complex name from the chair.

    Most notable as seen in the US Screen Gems 60’s-70’s TV series “I Dream of Jeannie” and “The Partridge Family.”

    Website says it was sold out. Too bad we can no longer inspect those freaky floorplans.

    Will it be finished; ah, that’s the question.

  10. dingus Says:

    I thought you couldn’t call a room without a window a “bedroom”? (Though I’m not sure where I get that) Are these rooms marketed as “bedrooms” or something weaselly like “sleeping space” or “somnolence nook” or whatever?

  11. anon Says:

    funny how these design/marketing features change over time.

    My place has a window-less 4×6 room that was called ‘storage’ when I bought it that I have recently seen marketed as ‘den/office space’. I imagine that floor-plans that were purchased with an actual den are now being marketed as ‘2-bedroom’.

    Yes, this building is being built, but I think that the ad shows the view from the roof as I don’t believe that the view from any suite in the building will be that clear. Also explains why there isnt a wall or window in front of the subject.

  12. B2B Says:

    Dingus – “somnolence nook” – brilliant. LOLO

  13. J Says:

    Floorplans are still available from this site:
    (bottom of page)

    http://www.vancouver-real-estate-direct.com/communities/vancouver-jacobsen.html

    Essentially all of the floorplans have no closet space in the bedroom, the study is a joke and the den isn’t much better. I guess with all the money you’re paying to buy one of these places you won’t be buying much “stuff” anyways.

    Might be a fun place to rent and live in for a few years, but living long term? No thanks.

  14. anon Says:

    Thanks for the floor plans. Wow. Guess the “den” is where you put your Arne Jacobsen chair, because that’s all that could possibly fit in there…. one chair, and you’d still have trouble closing the door. Then you fantasize you’re floating out in space like the photo from your windowless 4′ x 4′ “den”.

    Did this building win the award for squeezing the most units out of space by going right up to the code limit on unit width or what?

    How to build an entire living unit out of what used to be called a “secret hallway.”

  15. anon Says:

    all the suites are so…. looong!

    Why is the “E” floorplan the only one with closets in the bedroom?

    And the ‘study’ looks a built-in desk, and you put your chair in the hallway. Den, my ass. Thats a closet.

  16. Jackie Says:

    Somnolence nooks are the new solarium. I’ve seen too many new apartments with either small bunk-like sliding-door units marketed as ‘funky, space-efficient’ bedrooms, or murphy beds that pull out from the wall by the kitchen (with a stunning waterfront view, of course). What’s a 700-thread count sheet to do? Would somebody please think of the wrinkles!

  17. james Says:

    He’s admiring his last viw before jumping from his shoe box for which he paid a 1 million. He’s saying to him self OH MY GOD I’m loosing nearly 20% per anum on this shoe box. That equates to about 100 dollars a day including interest. OH MY GOD !!!!

  18. R. Astley Says:

    lol, this made me think of condohype for some reason –

    http://vice.typepad.com/vice_magazine/2008/12/vancouver—im.html

  19. Condobarf Says:

    It’s interesting that the shape of these units are more than vaguely reminiscent of a mobile home. However, most trailer parks are situated in more desirable locations. The streets adjacent to the Jacobsen are major thoroughfares for suburban commuters. Between Broadway and the street the Jacobsen faces there are 24,000 cars per hour during the daytime, according to traffic count figures from the City of Vancouver. The air quality is very poor so perhaps it is a blessing the Jacobsen trailer-shaped apartments do not have more than one window.

    The real beneficiaries of the Jacobsen are the condominium owners south of the Jacobsen because the Jacobsen will act as a noise barrier to the heavy traffic on Great Northern Way. The Jacobsen will similarly raise the quality of life at Vancouver’s cheapest house which is located at the southeast corner of the Jacobsen. You can see that house on this clip from the Rick Mercer show:

    Re: The View in the Ad

    The lower units in the Jacobsen will feature a view of truck traffic (complete with a direct hit of carcinogenic diesel particulate). The upper units will feature a view of the Burger King and other buildings on Main Street which also have development permit applications pending (for high rises that will thankfully block the view of destitute False Creek marine squatters when the next real estate bubble hits).

  20. Grumpus Says:

    Condobarf, your condo/trailer parallel reminded me of something. In “Travels With Charley” Steinbeck gets goo-goo over those new mobile home things, so modern and efficient…trailers, the wave of the future…

    I hope the view from the glorified ghetto is worth it all to Dr. Claw there in the picture.

  21. Macronomics Says:

    I’ve seen homeless people having sex in the parking lot of Burger King.
    Not a pretty sight… almost blinded me.

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