Brooklyn, Abbotsford

Brooklyn, Abbotsford

I’ll give you a moment to catch your breath. I almost lost a lung laughing at this. So, yeah, the place is called Brooklyn and it’s in Abbotsford.

This condo brand is not only vintage condo hype, it’s a greatest-hits of condo hype. The marketing materials bubble with references to “prestigious address” and “hardwood-style floors” and pretty much every non-feature available. This includes installations required by law. Yes, sprinklers and smoke detectors are listed as special features.

Abbotsford’s Brooklyn is a gated community. Unlike the real Brooklyn where a walk to the park is a walk to the park, Abbotsford’s Brooklyn would have you proceed through an “architecturally designed” control portal.

But don’t worry, from there you’re only steps from glorious, New York-style amenities like the Highwayman Pub!

29 Responses to “Brooklyn, Abbotsford”

  1. what... Says:

    Judging from this ad, I very strongly doubt that the designer, marketing geniuses, developers, these stock photography people (especially the guy on the right) or anyone in Abbotsford has ever even been near Brooklyn. Or Vancouver.

  2. yarb Says:

    “Here’s to Lower Mainland real estate!”

  3. VancityAllie Says:

    Haha, Brooklyn! One of the most dangerous areas in the Unites States still.. awesome marketing idea!

  4. doug r Says:

    Gated in Abbotsford? I guess it’s so only your neighbours can jack your grow-op. Or is it so unbelievers won’t get into the compound?

  5. dingus Says:

    Again with vino sloshing around! I’m concerned that condo marketers are using alcohol as a crutch. Time for an intervention!

  6. rob bennie Says:

    Glad we’re off the Vancouver politics & back to good ‘ol Valley marketing crap. Be sure to check out the website. They’re able to gang rape the character of New York & Frank Lloyd Wright in one tidy development.

    Hey developers how about some Mies van der Rohe inspired townhomes?

  7. Wayne Says:

    I’d have called it Queens or Far Rockaway.

  8. Carioca Canuck Says:

    They all need Botox………..what happened to the young 20 somethings partying it up with zero down, that used to be the mainstay of condo ads ?

  9. blueskies Says:

    “architecturally designed” control portal.

    as opposed to my “hirsute control portal”?!

  10. kabloona Says:

    “Far Rockaway”…..I love it.

    May I also suggest “Flatbush” or “Stuyvesant” Abbotsford…?

    😉

  11. Bubble Lad Says:

    Is Peter Stormare (far right) doing condo ads now?
    http://www.moviefone.com/celebrity/peter-stormare/1832793/main

  12. anon Says:

    Hey, at least the women in this ad were born women…. but where’s the token minority?

  13. ds7777 Says:

    theyre not laughing with you, theyre laughing at you

  14. anon Says:

    in their defense, the prinklers and fire alarms are listed under “Security and Peace of Mind”… But it is also as redundant as how the mirror in the bathroom “reflects your good taste”.

    I also did not realise that anything on Gladwin would be considered “exclusive”.

    And a 765sqf 2-bedroom? Tight!!

  15. jamesglave Says:

    Pwew, I’m glad they didn’t go with a design-build control portal. Those things are cheesy.

  16. Chilled Says:

    ^^^James, I can’t stop laughing^^^^^

    Too funny!!

  17. anon Says:

    Does the over-consumption of red wine actually facilitate three-ways?

  18. vomitingdog Says:

    I personally saw a couple that looked just like the blond guy and redhead girl get beaten up in Brooklyn. Just sayin.

  19. patriotz Says:

    but where’s the token minority?

    I think the Punjabis in Abby all live in monster houses. No market for them.

    But I think the development ought to be called “Joisey”.

  20. islander Says:

    The red flag is the use of “prestigious.”

    When “prestigious” gets trotted out as the adjective, whatever it’s modifying mostly certainly isn’t “prestigious.”

  21. Mission Says:

    Have I seen the same pic in another condo ad…?..

  22. jack Says:

    This is too much, I think this picture is taken of a holiday broucher for Venice .
    Abbotsford, talk about hyping up a booney town, it’s miles from anthing that resembles the atmosphere shown in the picture !!!
    It’s completely dead there and to be honest a condo at the very very most shouldnt be more than 175K there
    anyways I guess the developers will price at whatever they can get away with.

  23. Vasquez Says:

    Thank GAWD for all the stock fotos from 2006, when the only responsibility 20 and 30-somethings had was to take on big debt and talk about real estate whilst guzzling over priced red wine. Will life ever again be so care free and blissful? Or will the blood in the streets of West Van put a damper on it all?

  24. Vasquez Says:

    I might add how admirably the featured foto captures the fecal-genital stage of Vancouver real estate investors.

    Two years on these twits have all assumed the fetal position beneath their Ikea coffee tables and can now be seen in various Cialis, Bankruptcy Trustee, and suicide hotline adverts.

  25. Vasquez Says:

    My other bright idea for capitalizing on the incipient and well-earned agony of West Van Gen X yuppiettes is to open a used Saab lot. I will buy their pretensious used vehicles from these real estate wastrels, then rent them back to them at gouge rates so they still have somewhere to live.

  26. genxr Says:

    nice name. Brooklyn…crime, and bad neighbourhood comes to mind. One of the worst areas in NY. What are they suggesting? that Abbotsford in BC, is equivalent to Brooklyn of New York. Are they trying to bring fear into buyers? Or Maybe they are enticing buyers that are theives, thugs, gangsters, pot growers to move there. We welcome criminals…come to brooklyn.

  27. Bill Says:

    hehe..hilarious..

    i recently moved from calgary…they have the best “community” names there. all ripped of from new york, etc..ie union square.

    but the best one is the one they named – Morningside…yes as in Harlem. and it happens to be beside a landfill. lol!!!

  28. It’s Brooklyn because it’s “funky” « condohype Says:

    […] the latest installment takes a look at Brooklyn Abbotsford, a condo with a most unlikely name that we laughed about last […]

  29. Seb Says:

    That photo is a classic draw from pooled photos arranged by ad agencies to portray a certain idea or situation. It’s a cheap alternative to a full blown photo shoot which can cost upwards of 5-6000K$. Purchasing the rights for this photo was probably in the range of 300-400$. Definitely not local.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: