A professor once told me that most newspapers are only good for lining bird cages and wrapping fish heads. It’s pretty cynical thinking but when a paper runs a story about “neighbourhood sexiness research,” I’m eager to find the nearest available salmon.
My rage today is all the result of the media’s fascination with a non-story conjured up by some speed-dating website you’ve never heard of. As reported in the Province and on News 1130, FastLife.ca says Yaletown is “Canada’s sexiest neighbourhood.” Fast Life came up with this dubious fact by looking at the postal codes of its members and packaging the data as news.
As real estate coverage has shown us, no news story is complete without “expert” commentary. Without hesitation, the press checks in with a Fast Life spokesman to shower us with talking points about the “youth” and “affluence” of the Yaletown population. You know, because that’s what sexy’s all about.
Got a birthday in the 1990s and a trust fund from your parents? Congratulations, you automatically acquire the hotness of Monica Bellucci.
It’s enough to make you want to drown yourself in a Bellini.