Marketing has never been a business with a firm grip on reality. So housing sales can tumble and the number of listings can be the highest on record and still the condo hucksters promote their product as if it’s as rare as gold from the moon.
But never mind the market evidence. Jewel, a 134-unit “exclusive residence” project in the Burnaby Metrotown area is “a rare find” according to its slogan. The project is marketed by an invisible outfit called Domicile that apparently specializes in condo marketing but doesn’t seem to have a website.
Nothing surprisingly, the ad copy for this “diamond” in the rough is rough. It reads as if it was written on the back of a two-zone transfer by a loiterer at the Metrotown bus loop:
From the sweeping panoramic vistas to the 200 acres of Central Park, Jewel is set in a unique natural environment. An oasis of exclusive tranquility yet close to the action of nearby Metrotown. Each home at Jewel combines contemporary design with refined comfort. Spacious open plans with outdoor terraces for gracious living. Premium finishes and amenities including concierge services catering to discriminating residents. Experience cosmopolitan living at Jewel. A rare find.
So, yeah, not surprising compared to other condo ad copy, but nonetheless highly offensive to anyone who cares about meaningful communication. The copy prostitutes the English language. I mean, come on: An oasis of exclusive tranquility!! Does the writer even know what this means? If a Metrotown condo can earn such a description, how does one describe a Buddhist temple in the middle of a remote mountainous region? Hell, how would this compare to an isolated cabin on Keats Island?
Message to the copywriters and condo developers who compel them: Get some modesty, take some writing classes and spare us of the hype that brings you such ridicule.