The failure of success

Success Tower at Pinnacle Centre

In Vancouver, snow is on the street and a stench is in the air. Finding the source of a stink wouldn’t be a concern for most, but I’m an odd guy so it was a preoccupation of mine during the holidays. And wouldn’t you know it, I tracked the foulness down to a condo ad. An ad for Success Tower at Pinnacle Centre.

Success Tower — the wealthy uncle of Mississauga’s Mediocrity Mews — is a condo in Toronto marketed to us saps here in Vancouver. It’s a strange appeal that reflects the insanity of real estate on the west coast. Priced out of English Bay? It’s time to look at Bay Street!

WTF?!

It gets worse. The marketer, Anson Realty, can’t resist the urge to hype its tower with all the gusto reminiscent of the glory days of Platinum Project Marketing. Consider these howlers of condo crap copy:

You’ve worked hard to achieve what you desire in life, and now you are within reach of the ultimate symbol of success. Success Tower at Pinnacle Centre.

At Pinnacle Centre, Success is an address. It is where you belong.

Wow, that reeks and that’s just off the website. Who knows what you’ll find in the sales centre. But let me tell ya, if success is an address, what does this say about those who bought into Woodward’s?

Here’s hoping 2008 brings us better ads, better homes, and most importantly, better affordability. Happy new year everybody.

8 Responses to “The failure of success”

  1. condohype Says:

    Let me start off this comment thread by thanking you, dear reader, for your ongoing interest in this blog. I thought making fun of Vancouver condo lifestyle marketing was just my sad obsession but the site traffic tells me I’m not alone. So thanks again for the support and I hope to continue writing well into 2008 and beyond. (That’s right, realtors. I will not be silenced no matter where the market goes.)

  2. aetakeo Says:

    Happy New Year, Condohype.
    And, y’know, I just read an article in McLeans about the marketing of condos.

    It’s the buttoned down examination of the same fluffy baloney you’re taking to task, with a refreshingly honest marketer:

    “We want to make people feel like they are that [fantasy] person,” says Lamb, “that they’re living a hip, cool downtown lifestyle by being in that space — even if they’re not.”
    ….
    “You have a nice vanity with a nice sink and a very contemporary tap — it gets them every time,” says Lamb.

  3. Louisville real estate Says:

    “You have a nice vanity with a nice sink and a very contemporary tap — it gets them every time,” says Lamb.

    I think Lamb hit the nail on the head.

  4. blueskies Says:

    But let me tell ya, if success is an address, what does this say about those who bought into Woodward’s?

    hahahaha! indeed very good qestion

  5. solipsist Says:

    Is that this Lamb?

    He is a scary mo’fo. I’m so glad that they included “vanity” in the piece.

  6. Toronto real estate Says:

    “Success is an address” – well, that’s just about the worse catch phrase I’ve heard in months…
    I am afraid ads really can’t sink any lower than this and condo prices rise higher than today, so let’s hope the new year brings us at least better homes.

  7. vancondo Says:

    Happy New Year CondoHype – Thanks for shining the bright light on the inane yammering that is condo marketing! Who knew success was located in Toronto?

  8. The Publics Says:

    this ad vaguely resembles the motif of a Phillip K dick short story I once read.

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