Incontestably useless marketing

Sky Towers Surrey

There’s an old saying about censorship that says nothing gets sales going like a good book-burning. In the context of condo marketing, I’d bet the same holds true. If the condo marketers got together and torched all the condo writing style guides, dictionaries, and thesauruses, we could very well see an increase in unit sales.

Put another way, I can’t see sales getting any worse. The language of the condo marketers has moved so far into the realm of ubiquity that toothpaste copy seems insightful by comparison.

Consider this “information” for the new Sky Towers condo in Surrey:

Unprecedented opportunity arrives in Central City. Sky Towers proudly boasts the best location and the best views in one of the Lower Mainland’s fastest growing urban communities. In fact, the City of Surrey has experienced a YTD rental vacancy decline of 1.9% and is forecast to develop at nearly twice the rate of Vancouver in the coming years. With abundant shopping, appealing restaurants and the incontestable convenience of the King George SkyTrain station only steps outside your door, both the smart home buyer and the smart investor can agree that an opportunity like this is rare.

The Sky is no longer the limit, it’s just the beginning.

Yeah thanks for coming out. That last part feels like it’s fresh off the box of a Dolph Lundgren video or maybe a Disney flick about a dog that’s good at playing Ultimate.

When selling a new condo in Surrey, a city bursting with new condo development, how is there any value in using words like “unprecedented” and “rare” to describe it? Same goes for this business about “smart” investors. How is this useful? Easy! It isn’t. Marketers know this, buyers know this — yet it’s there, forever wasting our time.

It’s all useless, completely and entirely.

No, I am not a nihilist.

5 Responses to “Incontestably useless marketing”

  1. Paul Says:

    Though I don’t care much for all of the superlatives, that’s actually a pretty good ad. On target and different from most of the crap that’s out there.

  2. Real Estute Says:

    Scathing but entertaining Condohype. Keep up the good effort.

  3. Real Estate Attorney, Miami Beach FL Says:

    The advertising line I have seen here in Miami Beach, regarding a new condo of unprecedented, ultra-luxury quality is “…never before, never again…” Yet, I have seen the phrase used several different times by different developers. Who knows–maybe each successive condo is better than the prior one.

  4. Erika Says:

    In terms of design that’s a pretty nice looking ad, but it doesn’t give you any information. They’re counting on emotion alone, rather than information, and I guess since condos are pitched for sale so freaking early, they really can’t give you anything concrete, just a teaser. A million bucks for a closet. What *I’d* like to know is WHERE they plan on putting that second tower, and what’s this I hear about 5 “infinity highrises” right across the street? Where, exactly? I don’t want them to demolish the little bit of natural green space left in that area.

  5. KDS Says:

    I’ve lived in Vancouver for years, but keep seeing real estate ads for projects in parts of town that I’ve never ever heard of. I guess real estate marketers just invent new parts of town to give the impression the there’s an actual THERE there. Where exactly is Central City? I guess it sounds better than “The frightening Skytrain station at the corner of 239th and Access Road 3B”.

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