Fortune cookie taglines

The Harris at Brentwood Gate

As crazy as it is that people are willing to drop a half million to “live the lifestyle” at The Harris at Brentwood Gate, it is even more troubling to think that an ad such as this could actually motivate anyone to do it.

Not all masterpieces are created on canvas, eh? Yeah, well not all geniuses work in condo marketing.

Seriously, who comes up with this bunk? This is the kind of crap you’d expect in a fortune cookie. Thinking of fortune cookies, why pay a marketer to come up with this stuff when a quick snack at Jane’s Restaurant on East Hastings can supply you with all the taglines you need. For example:

A king’s castle is his home.

It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.

Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

These three gems cost me less than ten bucks and included a plate of delicious sweet and sour pork that I shared with two friends. Now that’s value for money. I’d be surprised if the “condo brand consultancies” even bother to buy their clients coffee.

If you don’t like those taglines, just ask Jane for a few extra cookies. Who knows, you might come across a classic like this:

An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.

Now that’s funny.

8 Responses to “Fortune cookie taglines”

  1. Will Says:

    Now this posting was funny! You’ve been in a lull recently (I know… repetition can lead to boredom) but with this posting you’re back on track. Keep it up!

  2. jf Says:

    Nick Work! Top Notch!

  3. AP Says:

    Well I think they deserve points for originality, too often are we bombarded by condo-copy that reads like it was written by a failed sportscaster burnt out on late-90s design jargon.

    There is something reassuringly quaint about this ad’s shameless cheesiness…and the fact that they were able to use the word “masterpiece” 3 times deserves a little bit of respect, or least some pity.

  4. Yawn Says:

    Dude. Seriously.

    This is just getting so TIRED. (Sort of like the greeting) Who’s the bigger schmuck here, the people who write this s—, or the hoards of clueless suckers who are DRIVING the market. Honestly. It’s the most basic of supply and demand theories. If people just said NO, demand would drop, developers stop raking in the dough, end of story.

    Are we finding yet ANOTHER reason to absolve ourselves, as a society, for the choices we all make? Oh yes, it’s not MY fault I’m investing $500k for a shoebox, it’s the HYPE that’s making me do it. It’s not MY fault I weigh 400 pounds and can’t stop stuffing my face with BigMacs, it’s the AD that’s making me do it. Snort.

    What the f— ever.

    At the very least, try to find something NEW to say about it all. Something original. Something besides whining about the evils of bad advertising. It’s been DONE, man. And done, and done. With a great deal more originality than I’m seeing here.

    Yawn. What a disappointment. Condohype indeed.

  5. Darius Says:

    Wow, such anger…let’s try and keep this all in perspective. The ad, bad? yes. But I think Yawn may have burst a blood vessel on this one…cut the caffeine and seriously consider a week away from the city.

  6. dingus Says:

    Yawn. Oh dear.

    Is there anything on this site that blames the current madness on markerters? Isn’t the point actually about the clueless suckers who take on 500k mortgages based on soft focus pictures of granny smith apples or puppies or whatever framed by meaningless ungrammatical verbiage? Isn’t this just one aspect of the blatant stupidity that is vancouver housing? I think the point is the banality, not the evil.

    Isn’t mockery better than going postal? Or would you know? And where has it been done? By you? With more originality? Just how original is your vent anyway? Feh.

    I’ll defend the efforts on this blog because I think it is funny. It offers some antidote to the complete nonsense that surrounds us on billboards, parkbenches, newspapers. I’m real tired of manipulatively vague advertising that tries to evoke emotion rather than making a credible argument for the product (was that a car ad? where was the car? all I saw was quick cuts of slow-mo raindrops and pounding surf). I’m sick of the complete BS of advertising (an ad for some econobox that positions it as a kick ass sports car? 5 star chefs at White Spot? a quarter pounder is a satisfying meal?). It all amounts to this life that we all feel like we’re missing, yet doesn’t actually exist. You’re made to feel a deep existential lack, yet if you chase the dream there’s nought but disappointment at the end of the rainbow. Condo ads are the worst, creating this ludicrous lifestyle image that is a kajillion miles away from reality (vespas on cobbled streets? urban living in abbotsford? green living ’cause the skytrain is near?). Blatantly misleading, often half assed, and yet, apparently, effective.

    If you didn’t laugh you’d… well… go postal on blogs, I guess.

  7. Vancurber Says:

    With such ugly architectural and probably blah everything else, you’d almost think they’d need to do better with their advertising.

  8. marketer Says:

    Yes, the ad sucks. But at least they didn’t pay an outside agency to complete it. Ledingham McAllister does all their own marketing.

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