Inevitably, all great bloggers land a book deal. While condohype is far from the stratosphere of Fake Steve Jobs, there may one day be interest for a coffee-table book on the insanity of Vancouver condo marketing.
When that day comes, the masterminds at Platinum Project Marketing might be in line for a royalty cheque. Time and time again, my best commentary comes from ripping their campaigns. Their condo marketing “solutions” are the epitome of the hype problem. I really hope they’re in on the joke they’ve created. If they don’t get the joke, it’s because they are the joke.
Anyway, Platinum’s latest gag is on behalf of The Crossing condos in Abbotsford. Here’s their take:
All eyes are on Abbotsford — one of the fastest growing cities in Canada. Live here at The Crossing and you’ll be at the epicentre of a dynamic city packed with outstanding recreational and lifestyle options. And while Abbotsford’s urban style is fuelling a red-hot real estate market, you’ll still find lots of small town charm and quiet country ways. For the attention you deserve, connect with The Crossing…coming this Fall!
In my day I’ve heard Abbotsford called many things, but most of them involve coarse language and are best not repeated here. What (I) can tell you is that there are some things in life (that) just don’t make sense. The combination of “lifestyle options” and “small town charm and quiet country ways” are among them.
Look at the visual elements in this ad for these “contemporary bedroom residences” — whatever that means. (Let us pray that the future of housing doesn’t consider a bedroom as a special feature.)
The side margin gives us three pictures. First is a heterosexual couple, strategically photographed in white dress to be most palatable to the mostly religious population of what a condo marketer might call The Belt. Second is a cushion and tabletop, cropped tight to provide minimal context of the actual living conditions of the condo. Third is a shot of a woman and her notebook computer sprawled on an unspecified lawn. I guess this is Crossing’s idea of a home office.
Unfortunately we can’t know for sure. As always, the condo marketer is keeping a lid on the details. Hop a trip to the website and you’ll get treated to a Flash animation with almost nothing in the way of info. As the tagline says, Crossing is a condo where life and style connect. Too bad it doesn’t intersect with substance.