Crossing but not cross-dressing

The Crossing

Inevitably, all great bloggers land a book deal. While condohype is far from the stratosphere of Fake Steve Jobs, there may one day be interest for a coffee-table book on the insanity of Vancouver condo marketing.

When that day comes, the masterminds at Platinum Project Marketing might be in line for a royalty cheque. Time and time again, my best commentary comes from ripping their campaigns. Their condo marketing “solutions” are the epitome of the hype problem. I really hope they’re in on the joke they’ve created. If they don’t get the joke, it’s because they are the joke.

Anyway, Platinum’s latest gag is on behalf of The Crossing condos in Abbotsford. Here’s their take:

All eyes are on Abbotsford — one of the fastest growing cities in Canada. Live here at The Crossing and you’ll be at the epicentre of a dynamic city packed with outstanding recreational and lifestyle options. And while Abbotsford’s urban style is fuelling a red-hot real estate market, you’ll still find lots of small town charm and quiet country ways. For the attention you deserve, connect with The Crossing…coming this Fall!

In my day I’ve heard Abbotsford called many things, but most of them involve coarse language and are best not repeated here. What (I) can tell you is that there are some things in life (that) just don’t make sense. The combination of “lifestyle options” and “small town charm and quiet country ways” are among them.

Look at the visual elements in this ad for these “contemporary bedroom residences” — whatever that means. (Let us pray that the future of housing doesn’t consider a bedroom as a special feature.)

The side margin gives us three pictures. First is a heterosexual couple, strategically photographed in white dress to be most palatable to the mostly religious population of what a condo marketer might call The Belt. Second is a cushion and tabletop, cropped tight to provide minimal context of the actual living conditions of the condo. Third is a shot of a woman and her notebook computer sprawled on an unspecified lawn. I guess this is Crossing’s idea of a home office.

Unfortunately we can’t know for sure. As always, the condo marketer is keeping a lid on the details. Hop a trip to the website and you’ll get treated to a Flash animation with almost nothing in the way of info. As the tagline says, Crossing is a condo where life and style connect. Too bad it doesn’t intersect with substance.

12 Responses to “Crossing but not cross-dressing”

  1. Condo Abbotsford Says:

    Thats why buyers should always work with a local Realtor. Realtors can not only “translate” those hard to understand ads but can also help write a favorable contract of purchase and sale.

  2. dingus Says:

    “Abbotsford’s urban style”??? WTF? Makes you wonder if they’ve ever been there.

    It’s like saying “Manhattan’s bucolic charm”, “Bangkok’s orderly streets” or “Geneva’s hedonistic nightlife”.

  3. gassy Says:

    What a gas. Here’s some more free editing…. Sometimes there some things in your write-ups THAT just don’t make sense. Oh wait, the same sentence is missing another word. Oddly enough a pronoun, which should have been used by you to refer to yourself. Perhaps I should be writing up on all the errors of the condohype. Hmmm…

    At this rate, I’m sorry to report that you won’t be getting your coffee book deal.

  4. Johnny33 Says:

    hrmm.. no mention of how bad the smell of “fertilizer” is in abbottsford during the summer.. or how far it is from vancouver.. btw, i should drop by and check out the urban style of the “new” abbottsford cuz the last time i was there, all i saw were farms and more farms.

  5. Johnny33 Says:

    “hard to understand”? or just plain misleading?

  6. gassy Says:

    PS – You didn’t correct the missed “I”…. What (I) can tell you is that there are some things in life that just don’t make sense.

    What’s the saying about the pot and the kettle? tsk tsk tsk.

  7. dingus Says:

    “What’s the saying about the pot and the kettle?”

    Well, no client paid him to write the post, there is no editing, proofreading or layout staff to idiot proof things, no client signoff, etc. The general language quality of this blog, done for free by some hobbyist, does seem to exceed what some professionals are paid to do. And that is pretty sad.

  8. aetakeo Says:

    Whoa, Gassy, are your feelings hurt?
    Here’s the difference between condohype and condo marketers:
    1) Condohype is not trying to get me to spend a half million dollars on 800 square feet
    2) Condohype is not getting paid
    3) Condohype is intentionally funny
    4) Condohype probably doesn’t have an ad company with paid editors on staff working for hours on his/her copy.
    You being pedantic only makes you look a little unclear on context. You’re comparing apples to horses, not pots to kettles.

  9. Real Estate Abbotsford Says:

    Abbotsford is not your small farm town anymore folks. Its a “city in the country” It is missing some big city elements, but its getting there fast. And thats why its still affordable.. Come check it it out one day,, If you visit often enough you’ll start to like the smell of the farms..

  10. Ulsterman Says:

    read my lips…it’s the commute stupid! Anyone willing to do that westward drive everyday is crazy. HOW could anyone sit there morning after morning and not just want to kill themselves.

  11. luke Says:

    Look at their name, Ulsterman! I think it’s pretty clear that he/she is merely trying to make a buck off of someone on condohype moving to the “city in the country”. That or their just reiterating the idea (a few times) of combonations that don’t make sense.

  12. chip Says:

    Well, it’s urban to the extent that it recently had the highest murder rate in Canada.

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