Grand Central Coquitlam

Grand Central | Coquitlam

There’s this great scene in the film version of Glengarry Glen Ross where a ruthless corporate “motivator” played by Alec Baldwin verbally eviscerates a crew of haggard real estate salesmen. After unleashing a terror of profanity and insults at each Willy Loman in the room, the motivator reaches for his briefcase, grabs two golden spheres and suspends them at his crotch. He asks the men, “You know what it takes to sell real estate? It takes brass balls to sell real estate.”

Mamet’s maxim gives insight into what it takes to be a Vancouver condo marketer. Just think about the ego needed to launch a condo in Coquitlam named Grand Central. Consider the audacity of selling it as “high-style” living. Reflect on the outrageousness of pitching it using an airbrushed fashion model and then showing nothing else at all in the ad.

Does anybody even know what the hell is for sale here? All I can say is somebody better call an advertising manager at the Georgia Straight. I think an ad for an escort service made its way into the Sun’s Homes section by mistake.

6 Responses to “Grand Central Coquitlam”

  1. solipsist Says:

    Hmm. Coming soon?

  2. greg Says:

    Ha ha – Coquitlam, isn’t that near Port Moody?

    Upscale baby!

    Condohype, you broke it right down, the only thing I would add is, check out the gold lame suggestions of the dress.

    Hoo-haw!

  3. window_dummy Says:

    The airbrushing is so ham fisted she no longer appears to be covered in skin.

  4. brother_love Says:

    is it possible that even though this ad doesn’t really show anything of the building, it gives the viewer something to be excited about? like abercrombie and fitch, whose catalogue is chock full of sometimes naked co-eds who aren’t even wearing their clothes, who give the consumer a lifestyle to get excited about. i’ll tell you what; i’d rather browse an abercrombie catalogue than the sears catalogue, and with grand central, thanks for giving me something cool to look at, to get excited about. i’d rather look at a pretty model than an ad full of “register now”, “only two units left”, “from the high 500’s” lets see how many meaningless words we can squeeze into a small space typical real-estate ads. i don’t know what these guys are selling but they got my attention. airbrushed or not.

  5. K4T3R1N4 Says:

    What’s with the name? Grand Central like in Station?

  6. Michelle Says:

    I know this is years old and I really shouldn’t be wasting my time posting on here, but have you even been to Coquitlam? It sounds like you haven’t from your post here. Despite being far from downtown, the area is actually very nice. I personally think it looks nicer than many parts of Burnaby and Vancouver. And for Coquitlam, Grand Central is really in the middle of everything. It may not be in the heart of Greater Vancouver, but the location is definitely first rate in Coquitlam. So don’t insult a city-ful of people before you know what you’re talking about. And no, I don’t work for them.

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