If you think of a list of all the world’s cities ranked by their greatness, I can think of no greater gulf along the continuum than that separating Coquitlam, B.C. and New York City. But for the makers of Levo — a boutique-style “sky residence” located in Coquitlam, the duodenum of the Lower Mainland — the limits of hyperbole go as high as the imagination soars.
Mahattan [sic] vibe? Parisian flair? Sky residence? Landmark address in Coquitlam? What the hell is this?
Well, the copy doesn’t help much. Apparently a $250,000 one-bedroom comes with a “designer-inspired interior” and “innovative features far above the ordinary.” Wow, that’s a description. So aside from not actually naming one single innovative feature, all we’ve got to go on is that the drywall guy browsed an Ikea catalogue before putting up the walls. (Well, you tell me what “designer-inspired” is supposed to mean?)
Then there’s the howler of a closing line saying Levo is “created for those ready to touch the sky.” Uh, yeah. That’s a way of putting it. Are these folks selling us a condo or a bong?
Now it’s not all bad for Levo, though living behind Coquitlam Centre is pretty rough. I will give points to the marketing team for their hugely entertaining spin on a commonly used condo buzzword. I’ve typed out the copy in case you didn’t catch it in the ad. Can you find what I’m referring to? Look again:
Levo. Let your imagination soar and see yourself luxuriating in your own boutique-style home with your choice of designer-inspired interior, spectacular views, and innovative features far above the ordinary. Levo. Created for those ready to touch the sky.
The word is luxuriating. It’s a real verb and to date, I haven’t seen it used in local condo marketing. I love how dirty it sounds and I don’t think it’s just me. What pops into your head when you think of someone “luxuriating” in a boutique-style home? Yeah, told you so.