Incident at Patina

Advertisement for Patina - Vancouver, BC, Canada

Currently going up at the site of the old Downtown YMCA on Burrard Street in Vancouver, Concert’s Patina is hedging its bets that what the market really needs is another condo sold as a lifestyle commodity. Good work, guys. Yawn.

Substitute the Patina and home references and this could be any ad you want it to be. Consider:

“It is savouring, with uncommon ease, the city’s most sublime flavours and textures.” -Revlon

“It is savouring, with uncommon ease, the city’s most sublime flavours and textures.” -Juicy Fruit

“It is savouring, with uncommon ease, the city’s most sublime flavours and textures.” -Durex

OK. My apologies for any disgusting imagery that might have come with the last one. But you see where I’m going. This is template marketing. It offers no insight into what actually makes the place a “home of rare luxury and subtle sophistication, at the centre of it all.” Though the line about the “cosmopolitan sparkle” of downtown certainly takes on new meaning in the wake of an incident that occurred just down the street at Burrard Station.

Graceful tranquility? Refinement? Whatever you say, Patina.

P.S. You don’t need to drop a half million on Patina to know that the best street vendor in the neighbourhood is Japa Dog. Even Ice Cube knows the truth.

Ice Cube, left, and Japa Dog Man

10 Responses to “Incident at Patina”

  1. dingus Says:

    Another sad example of naming products through committee.

    To me, a patina is a thin film or layer of corrosion. It does not produce the associations (in my pedantic brain anyway) that I think the developers want. They want shiny, new, modern, tasteful. “Patina” makes me think of wear, neglect, weathering, rusticity, age. It also makes me think of veneer and superficiality.

    After a while these are like car names or insurance companies that marketers have dreamed up via focus group… they all sound the same. Altria, Clarica, Altima, Aliant, Terasen, Sentra. All so boringly euphonous. Japa Dog. Now THAT’s a good name.

    But how long before we see a condo tower called “Excema” do you think?

  2. solipsist Says:

    Are those guys showing off the nicotine stains on their fingers?

    The one on the left has a knock-off Rolex, but I bet Iced Tea has a real one. With ice.

    I’m getting all dreamy – what, with all the seductive lifestyle marketing.

    The guy with what looks like scalded hands over what appears to be a steaming pot isn’t too bright, is he? The left one looks like a prosthetic. Maybe he is cooking the books for CB. Maybe it’s just good legerdemain.

    I wonder if Japa Dog has free uniforms. Theirs are nicer than McWhatsit’s.

    Can I get fries with that?

    dingus, thanks for the laugh.

    I’m waiting for The Colostomy. Roofy would be cool too – for all those kids taking Ecstasy. They could have a rave for the presale. How about Snow across the street from Sugar.

    There’s an idea hypster – a contest for the Seven Wonders of Condoda.

  3. condohype Says:

    Honestly, I really love the Japa Dog man. If you haven’t tried one of his dogs, you owe it to yourself. Veggie or beef, they are delicious. Terimayo dog is my personal favourite.

  4. Theorem Says:

    Mr Hype, love the site, keeps me smiling! Thanks for the tip on the hotdogs, will get one for lunch today.
    I was flipping through the New Home magazine yesterday and couldn’t help but notice that aside from the words ‘luxury’, ‘stainless steel appliances’ and ‘granite counter tops’ that the word ‘urban’ is used in roughly half the ads. Many of these ads are referring to properties in Chilliwack, Abbortsford, White Rock etc. Urban Village etc etc.
    Thought it would be interesting to see a post from you on these trends which are appearing across the board these days….

  5. mk-kids Says:

    OT: Went to see Spidey 3 on the weekend. Rennie had an ad for a new condo complex (can’t remember which one) in the previews (along with the ads for music, cars & coca-cola). I’m dating myself surely but I remember when movie previews were just movie previews and not ads for junk that will make you cool/ smarter/ more beautiful/ more popular…
    I looked around the theatre & it was jammed packed with kids! I mean high school age, maybe some of the college crowd but they all looked really young! Is this the RE target market now?!! If so, we are in serious trouble…

  6. condohype Says:

    Hey Theorem. Glad you like the site. Actually, I’m planning on doing content analysis posts soon. Stay tuned.

  7. Skye Says:

    I wonder if they’re recycling the “patina” from the old YMCA locker rooms.

    I sure miss having a gym a block from my apartment, whatever it ends up like I just hope they get it built fast.

  8. Gursk Says:

    Maybe Patina is the thin smile they’ll be wearing every Tuesday night as they walk by the lineup of homeless waiting for the free dinner @ First Baptist Church, right next door on Burrard. Or the same folks who appear every weekday morning @ Christ’s Church (right across Nelson) for free sandwiches & coffee! It would certainly take some rose-coloured-lifestyle glasses to get over that worn view.

  9. Felix Says:

    Patina is a great product in a wonderful location.

    You guys are full of hot air and you are blowing out your butt…..

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