Oh, the urbanity!

The Zone

Whenever I’m feeling down, I try to seek out a good ad from the comedians at Platinum. Nothing like a good joke to raise one’s spirits. And Platinum’s definitely “in the zone” this weekend. As seen in yesterday’s Sun, Platinum presents The Zone, a new condo going up on West Broadway near Oak Street in Vancouver.

Complete with a stock shot of a yuppie couple zipping around on scooter, The Zone encourages buyers to “Discover the Fairview lifestyle” — further proof of the growing neighbourhood lifestyle nationalism inflamed by the Vancouver condo craze. (Just you wait, in three years we’ll have Kerrisdale asking for recognition as a distinct society. “We are the creme de la creme!”)

My favourite part of this ad is the quote from developer Peter Redekop in he which calls The Zone, “Arguably the best concrete value on the westside today.”

Two points on this.

One, by saying “arguably,” Redekop effectively renders his quote meaningless. Anyone can argue anything. Coke is “arguably” a healthy beverage because it contains water, which is essential for human life.

Two, Redekop is the developer of The Zone. What kind of validation is this? I’d like to see the film industry pull this kind of silliness in movie ads. “The Number 23 is arguably one of the best thrillers in years,” says Joel Schumacher, director of The Number 23.

At the project’s website, other treasures await. I’ve learned that The Zone is probably the best thing to happen to social networking since Facebook. Here’s some copy:

The Zone is where you get to connect with like minded individuals; people committed to succeeding in all areas of life and creating as many enjoyable experiences as possible.

The Zone is where you get to rest, reflect and be the very best that you can be.

The Zone is the space you’ve always wanted. Your concrete condo. Your Westside retreat. The ultimate urbanity within reach.

The 500 square-foot “urbanity” begins at $276,900. View suites extra.

9 Responses to “Oh, the urbanity!”

  1. aetakeo Says:

    500 square feet?

    If I had any surprise or shock left in my cynical, seen-it-all heart, I’d really find that annoying.

    Let’s see. I can put $69K down (I’ve got that around here somewhere) and still pay $1329 a month for the next 25 years. Before taxes. Or strata. To live in 500 square feet.
    Oh, wait. Is 6% too high? Is 25 years to short?
    Well, at 5% and 30 years, I’ll pay the low, low monthly price of … $1208.

    Oh, what the hell. I think I’ll buy one. That’s so worth it. Maybe I’ll take two. After all, they’re small. That ‘enjoyment’ thing is code for full-release, right?

  2. BearClaw Says:

    We are living in a grim meathook future.

  3. blueskies Says:

    after looking at the image me thinks the guy on the Vespa is being carjacked in a “girls gone bad” scenario….. no helmets?!

    mind you this is safer than getting a mortgage………

  4. condohype Says:

    Arguably safer. 🙂

  5. babybull40 Says:

    Why don’t they offer a two-fer-one deal seeing they are only 500 sq feet.. ?

  6. hari Says:

    I have lived in Vancouver, California and Europe. In all locations you spend 90% of your time outside your home.

    If you have a 3000 sq.ft home and you have a bedroom that is 500 sq.ft what use is it. You are going to throw in a queen or king size bed and what else? Do you need to roll around on other 400 sq.ft? Are you going to throw in a chair so it looks nice?

    If you are complaining about price we are nothing compared to Paris, London, New York, San Fran, yet are economy is doing well, our geography is better, our living conditions are better and our places are bigger.

  7. akenaton Says:

    Oups… May be more is happening in New York, Paris and London… I mean Paris, France and London, UK, not Paris, Texas and London, Ontario. Just think of Art Galleries. And yes, UBC campus is as expansive as downtown Paris.

    Were did they take the picture of this couple? In Rome twenty years ago? Looks almost like a Fellini movie. Who rides such a vintage Vespa on West Broadway?

  8. J Says:

    Hype, I know it’s been ages since you posted this, but I just wanted to say – crazy props for “We are the creme de la creme!”. You truly are a Vancouverite.

  9. condohype Says:

    Thanks J. I’m fond of this post.

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