Editor’s note: For maximum enjoyment, please turn up your computer’s volume, open a new window to www.citygruv.com and allow the music to play. Then promptly return here and read the post below. Thank you.
Are they gasping at the price or the realization that their car’s been stolen? Again.
Faster than a Honda Civic gets jacked from a Whalley parking lot, the folks at Overture Living and Platinum Marketing have shovelled up Gruv. No wait. My mistake. It’s grüv.
Whatever it is, here’s what the web copy says:
Own your grüv for less than you pay for rent. Über cool brand new 1 and 2 bedroom condos and ultra funky lofts! You’re next to Central City Shopping, the new SFU campus, and Skytrain to get you anywhere else in record time.
Grüvy floorplans. Grüvy prices. Get into the grüv early. Register Today.
Notice the limited the mention of Surrey. The ad mentions Surrey twice, only once on its own and there’s no talk of Surrey in the web copy at all. Then there’s the tip-toe work with “Central City Shopping” and “the new SFU campus.” The omission of the Surrey moniker isn’t a mistake. It’s focus group research at its finest.
Then there’s my personal favourite, the travel time estimate to other parts of the city. Thanks to the Skytrain, grüv empowers owners to get to where they gotta go in “record” time. Record time? What is that?
Also, why is “Today” in “Register Today” capitalized when it’s not a proper name or the first word in the sentence? Why is it acceptable to combine the words “desirable” and “Surrey” and not be charged a fine? Why does lifestyle marketing make me so ill? What the hell is with this terrible music?!
I think I’m gonna püke.